Why is my heart beating out of my chest?
Why am I happy one minute and balling the next?
Why I am motivated with one idea only to feel fatigued and helpless over it the next minute?
Why do I love everything and hate everything in the same millisecond?
Maybe I am crazy. It’s not like I am never called that. Maybe I am.
Why am I still in my pjs the third day in a row? Is it just because it’s 2020?
No...NO... I am a woman. Blessed with cycles and phases—a taboo that no one seems to talk realistic about unless I chat with my dr. You know, like post partum depression-It’s a thing friends—Perimenopause is real. Why isn’t it addressed more? My path with perimenopause has been a long haul to say the least. All this time, I seriously thought I had some legit mental health issues. Well maybe I do.
Thankfully, I’ve been equipped with tools, resources, and exercises in my tool belt over the years to combat some of those symptoms. Sometimes though, no matter what, these tools just don’t seem to help. I follow the cleansing, plant based, toxin free, mindset shifts, fitness, restful, supplemental, mindful route and still STILL I feel at a total womanly loss some days.
What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?
I feel like an outcast sitting with loneliness, withdrawal from friends and family, self pity, low self esteem, weakness, sadness, total unsexy, mean and hostile feelings of helplessness.
Moody anyone? It’s like worse than the snarky teen years.
Let me tell you, hormones can be nasty to us when we are in a state of unbalance, which can be often; because hormones are constantly changing with our chemistry and cells; especially menopause.
No matter what we do. It’s a never ending ebb and flow, like the waves of the ocean.
Especially in the peri- menopausal state.
Beating myself up because I’m experiencing all that God has made me to be and experience as a woman is not the way to self acceptance. Just like every *body* is different and unique, all peri-menopausal experiences will be too.
The endless crying like my cat literally just died, the painful cramps and release of what seems like gushing forceful gallons of blood with cramps like birthing contractions all over again, the sleepless nights, the overly tired days of exhaustion….
Just when I think I get it all under control with all my tools in my belt and feel great….
WHAM 
that wave comes and blasts it all away leaving me feel like a drowned rat.
that wave comes and blasts it all away leaving me feel like a drowned rat.Let’s just say with a little rest and self reflection, choosing the right tools in my tool belt, and loads of grace and ease, I WILL embrace this aging time in womanhood.
Right now, I am so happy and grateful for the education I recently experienced in my Yoga Teacher Training on breath work as it has been a total blessing, along with using my essential oils to support my emotions and uncomfortable symptoms; while also choosing healthful foods and lots of rest.
Grace and Ease ladies.
Grace and Ease.
You are not crazy.
You are Woman.
A Beautiful Perfect Woman.
Embrace each phase.
With Gratitude and Faith.
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I find it interesting when people tell me I'm 'the picture of good health'. I mean what does that even look like!? I am, of course, a high-vibing, fitness fanatic, crystal loving, zen making, nutritional self care guru. Haha! But really, what they don't see or know is the journey I've been on--now the middle aged woman who has spent years of research of nutrition, digging deep into self development and discipline with learning, unlearning and relearning, daily work outs and lifestyle choices. As well as learning to let go of others opinions, shift negative thoughts, and work really hard on creating a healthy toxin free environment in my home both physically and mentally. It doesn't happen over night.
You see, for much of my life I've let my fear of what others think of me control me and my choices. I let these views direct and defeat me, even let people use me and abuse me. In turn, I chose to abuse my own body, make unhealthy choices, and even went against my values just to fit in just to make others happy.
It took me years to figure out that I have to work on myself and be happy with myself, that it's an inside job. Many self development workshops, coaching and buckets of tears later...I experienced so much guilt and shame from it all AND I learned to let that shiz go. I was told many times--if you're not growing (personally), you're dying. So now I invite growth and development daily. Let me tell you--the choices you make today will definitely have impact you tomorrow.
You see, when I was a teen I found interest in fitness, nutrition and wellbeing, What I didn't know is that I was just doing it all wrong. I wrestled with a negative mindset, letting others opinions take over me, abusing my body with food and alcohol, with years of eating disorders and loads of over exercise. I had finally hit a wall and made a complete 180 in taking total care for myself. The right way.
These past choices turned into an ongoing battle with hormonal imbalances and nutritional deficiencies. I've spent the past 20+ years trying to solve my puzzle. Our bodies are so fascinating as are our minds. I am positive I created these imbalances from my past choices, toxic environment and mindset. Now I feed my body to support my hormones and my mood and this has been a legit game changer. Especially as I age. We don't know what we don't know!
So when you see me drinking the celery juice and think 'oh she's the picture of good health', I want people to know there's a story behind my lifestyle lectures and it's to feed my body nutrition and share the outcome with others. When you see people who you think are the picture of good health, fitness or always carry joyful mindsets--take wonder at their story...Be curious. How did they get there, what was their journey like? What choices did they make? Seek them out and ask them.
Everyone makes choices...It's the choices you make today that will create your tomorrow. Make good choices. Go inward. Listen to your body and the observe the circumstances you surround yourself with. Take note and search for your solutions. Everyone has a story and this is just a snippet of mine.
You my friend are worth taking the time for.
I'm just curious, what do you do to keep in good health?
Also, do you juice?
Organic Celery for juicing available at your local grocer or garden
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